Swings, Rollercoasters and Temper Tantrums

Awesome Run

blurrystars — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 04:59:58 +0000

So this blog has had an awesome run. And I’ve loved posting here. I think this is most long running best blog I’ve ever had, even if it wasn’t consistent.

But too many people I know in real life have seen it and it’s done damage. So I’m putting it to sleep. I’ll no longer be posting on here.

Good night and good luck.

Titleless

blurrystars — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 00:09:20 +0000

[listening to: The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance]
I just want it out of me. I can feel it all over my body and I HATE the feeling.
Why??? Why do I do this to myself so unnecessarily. I always know I’m going to regret it. I wish I could just make it go away but it’s not that simple. I hate this. I hate food.

Summer School Week One

blurrystars — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 08:14:01 +0000

[listening to: Weekends by Down With Webster]

So first week of summer school complete. And I’m pretty much going to fail. I don’t understand anything and the first day was terrible. HOWEVER I’m going to stick it out at least until I find my mark after midterms out. I mostly just like summer school for the making friends part. :P
I has 7 new friends and completely reunited with an old. So good fun times.
I’m just super happy that it’s the weekend right now. I’ve got money and I’ve got some relax time although I should probably study at some point.
Anyways. 4:13am.
Going to bed.

Peace :)

Report Cards

blurrystars — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 17:08:37 +0000

I PASSED!! :D yippeee!
Sorry. Super ecstatic about the passing. :)
I got my report card in the mail today and my lowest mark was a 59. Highest an 84. Not so super great but I passssed! I even passed english and math. I thought I’d forsure failed those. But I guess not :)

So that’s all for today. I’m gonna go be happy-peppy-cartwheel-girl for the rest of the day! :D

blurrystars — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 06:02:01 +0000

how can boys be so mean?

It’s The Most Stressful Time of the Year….

blurrystars — Mon, 24 May 2010 05:24:56 +0000

[listening to: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana]
Frig.
It’s that time again. The time when high school students want to pull out their hairs and scream at the top of their lungs.
I know I do.
It’s EXAM TIME! / CULMINATINGS (i.e. final-projects-worth-30%-of-your-mark-and-if-you-can’t-ace-this-then-you’re-doomed-for-eternity-especially-when-it-comes-to-your-grade-12-courses-do-you-want-to-go-to-university?!)
I am completely drowning. I’ve got something due for every class and I’m just keeping my head above water.
I hate the end of the year, sadly however, I endure for the hope of the coming summer. (summer 2010 i can’t wait)
So what have I been up to lately?
Funny you should ask…
Aw not much. Hanging out. A and I are doing good… I think… I hope… in my opinion we are. We hit roadbumps like every couple does and the occasional every couple weeks fight (always provoked by me… can’t quite get everything right now can I?) but generally speaking we’re good.
We went on our first date the other night (I know, I know, 6months and this is the first date – what??)
I call it our “first date” because it was our first nighttime dinner-and-a-movie type deal. It was amazing :D :D
He even wore a button up shirt for me <3 <3 and I gotta say… didn't look too shabby myself.
We ate these amazing crepes at this cafe I know and then we went and saw Iron Man 2, we were supposed to see Robin Hood but we were late and he insisted that we should see Iron Man 2 (partly because he "didn't want to come into Robin Hood having missed the first ten minutes" and partly because I'm sure he knew I actually wanted to see Iron Man 2 more…) I got home at 1am and mum wasn't pleased but who really cares? One more year and I am vamoose. Crazy to think of that…

Anyways…
It's 1:23 am… make a wish and say goodnight.

xoxo

P.S. HAPPY 2 1/2 YEARS TO THIS BLOG :D :D hopefully there’s someone out there reading this…

Protected: I’m Sorry

blurrystars — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 04:19:39 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

Little Heart Elves Always Sew Better After A Break

blurrystars — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:58:28 +0000

[listening to: Saviour by Lights]

So, I’m exhausted. Supposed to be writing a play. Want to sleeeeeep.

Yesterday was… is eventful the right word? I don’t know.
Point is A read my blog… and didn’t tell me. Even after I stressed that I didn’t want him to read it. Partially because he didn’t know I was talking to and hanging out with C, (Mind you at this point we really haven’t done either in a while… or rarely in the whatchamacallit talkingness) but also partially with the privacy this may as well be my diary bit. I got mad at him at first… but not so mad anymore. He has MUCH more reason to be mad at me. I completely understand his anger.
But being the perfect, loving, amazing boyfriend he is he didn’t even really yell at me. While he we were talking about it and he was mad he was still telling him he loved me and was kissing me.
Although the talk got interrupted when he told me that he was completely in love with me and nothing would change that. That kinda sent me into “holyshityou’reinlovewithmewhatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoidoiknowi’minlovewithyou
butyouACTUALLYareinlovewithmeandomgomgomgwow…” and then I hyper-ventilated, started crying and laughing at the same time and I think I scared him a little… point is… it finally hit me. I did possibly the worst thing I could to this relationship aside from leaving it and he is STILL in love with me and STILL wants to be with me and he’s crazy. And has NO idea what he’s gotten himself into. He’s not gonna leave me… wow if you could see me right now… I’m pretty much a smiling marshmallow about to burst into happy tears.
But right, problem at hand. Me and C talky talky, A findy outy, no happy. Me UH OH.
Funny thing is… I think this may have just made us stronger.
Right so I’m kinda all over the place and falling asleep and SO tired and I have to write a play and AGH!
Going to nap and write a play and then call my boyfriend… who for some reason is in love with me…

Crazy world we live in,

xoxo

Tagged: a, anger, angry, argh, boyfriend, C, caring, crazy, decieivng, fight, forever, girlfriend, heart break, hyper ventilate, i love him, in love, kissing, Love, loving, lying, lying to boyfriend, no talking, play writing, talking, understanding, upset

stressssssss

blurrystars — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:03:46 +0000

word for word what I wrote on my Word Document yesterday:
My mother is a demon who wants me to fail in life or succeed but have the life sucked out of me and really doesn’t want me to have fun and doesn’t approve of anylifestyle choice i make.,bahahahahahah i’m tiiired. I should take a nap. Not i have so much work to do on this play its not even funny i don’t understand how commissioned playwrights just pulled it out of their a*****. Jeez. Must have skills. I feel like in the future when someone possibly reads what i’ve just written they’ll think this stupid because maybe they’ll realize playwriting is STUPID and REDUNDANT. Wow, watch my hate for playwriting coming through these words. Or maybe they’ll still be doing it thinking “i feel your paaaaiiin!!!” or maybe they’ll think “stupid old timer! Playwriting has meaning and is important blah blah blah blah blah”. I DON’T want to write this play. Not at all. I HATE my idea. GAAAH!! Two days…. deadlines… deadlines… oh shit I need to write a protest letter. :(

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Lucky Penny Glued To The Ground…

blurrystars — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 08:02:00 +0000

[listening to: This Is How It Goes by Billy Talent]

Sigh.
So here’s how my life is going…
It’s 3:43am. I’m awake. Because I can’t sleep. And I have an English Essay and a World Religions Presentation Due tomorrow. I can’t concentrate. I made myself Mr.Noodle.
Overall… my mother’s pissed at me because she caught A in my room… twice… that was an ugly fight. She called me a slut. I almost just left the house.
My sister and I are good… A and I are good but he claims we don’t spend enough time together and that I put other people before him, which is in no way true! I give him all my free time and feel like I’m neglecting my friends. School wise I’m screwed. I owe so much homework it’s insane. I’m almost failing so much and there’s still so much to do before tomorrow and I have… 3 hours. or so. Ish.
Point is…. Life-wise… I’m not doing so good. At least A still loves me… for now. Until he realizes that I’m a loser.

I don’t deserve this Mr.Noodle.